Sixth grade is the equivalent of boot camp for many students.  There are so many hormones attacking these receptive bodies that it truly is a wonder that any of them make it out alive.

In fact, I have never met a sixth grader that said they had lots of friends, no one ever picked on them and the homework was a breeze.  If we ever do find one that has no gripe with sixth grade, we need to recruit that child to teach the rest of them survival techniques.

He could teach a new sixth grader how to deal with a bully who calls him a word I can’t print here.  He could teach the newbie how to suppress the extremely strong urge to show the creep a little of his own newly acquired testosterone by way of a strategically aimed fist.  He needs to suppress this urge because if he reacts the way nature intended him to, he will be suspended from school.  For some kids, this might be considered a good thing.   For my son, nothing could be worse.  He is one of those rare students who enjoys learning even if the method employed for learning (public school) is not his favorite.

So he controls his words and his actions while this bully goes around running off his potty mouth and saying any hurtful thing that comes into his very small brain.  No one can stop him because there’s no rule against saying nasty things.

How does an eleven-year old deal with issues that can’t be dealt with by much older and more experienced people on a global level.  The problems my son faces in sixth grade are the same ones we face as a nation today.  Everyone has a different way to “solve” or “ignore” the problem.  But the problem still exists no matter which method you choose.

While I was writing this, I got a mental picture of an 11-year old “America” sitting in a sandbox with an 11-year old terrorist.  The terrorist keeps throwing sand in America’s face and the only thing America is allowed to do is go home and cry on his mother’s shoulders because the “rules” say that he’s not allowed to give the bully what he truly deserves or he’ll never be allowed in the sandbox again.  So the terrorist reigns in the sandbox until one day America shows up at the playground equipped with a helmet, knee pads, and a Super Soaker.  That’s the last time the terrorist throws sand.  He may not like it.  He may hold a grudge, but he likes the Super Soaker even less and grudges never hurt anyone.

Yeah, America could offer the terrorist a piece of candy and try to make friends with them.  But just because you give a bully candy, that doesn’t make them your friend.  They are only waiting for the day you come to the sandbox without any candy.  Why waste all your candy on one who doesn’t appreciate it?

There is only one method of discipline that bullies understand and that seems to be the method that is globally unacceptable.  So the bullies, because of own our reticence and rules about what is acceptable and what is not, will continue to get bolder and more unruly until they finally do harm to someone.  Bullies don’t stop throwing sand just because you ask them to.  In an ideal world, that might work, but when my son asks a bully to stop calling him names, the bully does not stop.  He is amused and calls him even worse names.

For my young sixth grader, I can only soothe his frustration by letting him know that because that bully is obviously dumb as a stump, my son can look forward to being his boss one day.  That might be the best revenge of all.

Until then we’re considering getting him a Super Soaker.

Laura Snyder

You can reach Laura at lsnyder@lauraonlife.com Or visit her website www.lauraonlife.com for more columns and info about her new book.